it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
