If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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