so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wish they made helmets for livers.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ttyl tear gas
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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