first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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