I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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