Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
