Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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