based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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