I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
