She announced her abortion via fbk
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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