so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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