i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
