Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
