I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
