im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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