The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
