i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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