Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
