i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
