you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That accounts for only three of the penises
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
