i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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