Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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