"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
