i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
