I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Its about making memories worth repressing
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
