At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
