Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he puts the penis in happiness.
I cut my penus on the lid.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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