But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
