just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
