STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
