have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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