They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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