big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
