Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
