what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
