I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
