Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sobbing to NWA
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
