i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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