Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
