yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
