Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
