who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
