bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize