I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
