Kiss
Puke
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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