dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
