I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
