Got a toothbrush?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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