just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
