yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I will be naked everywhere
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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