I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
