can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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